This Saturday will mark seven weeks since sheltering in place for my family. In those seven weeks I’ve had three telehealth sessions with my therapist and without exception, I hang up and reenter the “family bubble” with renewed resolve, and even joy, after talking through the many problematic thoughts that have hijacked my brain over the prior weeks.

We are all on an emotional roller coaster of the highest highs and the lowest lows. Now, more than ever, I want to encourage you to recognize the voice within you that is asking for help. It is not always easy to hear or accept, especially for those of us who pride ourselves on self-sufficiency and competency. In fact, my pride was exactly what kept me from seeking help in the years after the birth of my first child and when my need for expert help was most heightened. It took a mass shooting for me to finally feel comfortable enough with the concept of therapy to 1) commit to it regularly and 2) speak publicly about my need for it and the benefits it provides. Do not be like me.  The voice inside you is asking for help and it may be for reasons totally dissimilar to mine.

What do I struggle with consistently? It is anxiety. Specifically, that I cannot keep my family safe (gun violence included) and that I cannot achieve all the goals I have set for myself and my organization. My anxiety can totally monopolize my thoughts. It can lead me to work very long hours, mis-prioritize, skip out on mass gatherings, and can even temporarily rob me of joy. But, with the help of my therapist, I can work through and improve upon all these behaviors. Let me give you an example.

Lately I have been struggling to understand why my fear of dying from COVID-19 seems to be higher than those around me. It has driven me to disinfect Amazon deliveries, remain socially distant from everyone except my immediate family, delegate the shopping to my husband so that I can stay safe at home, etc. I told my therapist that I was disappointed in myself for being so fearful, for allowing fear to prevent me from helping others at the arbitrary level I had set for myself. She immediately replied, “Of course you are afraid of dying! You almost died and you almost died alone! You are revisiting those moments on 9/6/18 and it is entirely reasonable to fight to avoid that same experience in any way possible.” Oh my God! I cannot tell you how helpful it was for this expert, this woman that knows me so well, to give me permission to be afraid. It’s like talking to a good friend but with loads of experience and wisdom about exactly what you need to weather a moment of mental weakness.

What can you do to help yourself by honoring that voice inside you? Here is my advice:

1. Acknowledge that seeking help is not a sign of weakness. I consider myself to be a highly confident, independent, and formidable force. Seeking out expertise to improve yourself should not be stigmatized. It should be admired.

2. Start calling now. I was a gun violence victim and only two of the seven offices I contacted even bothered to call me back. You must be persistent. Therapists can be expensive, difficult to find, difficult to fit into your schedule, and it can take multiple tries until you find the right fit.

3. Consider alternative methods. I am doing therapy over the phone now. I have never tried text therapy but there are many innovative and even inexpensive/free options to consider.

Provided below is a list of mental health resources I have compiled for your consideration. Remember, listen to that voice.

NATIONAL RESOURCES

Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Spanish): 1-888-628-9454
Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Deaf, Hard of Hearing, or Hearing Loss): 1-800-799-4889
Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741741
Seize the Awkward: https://seizetheawkward.org
Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
Trevor Lifeline (for LGBTQ youth): 1-866-488-7386
Trevor Text: Text START to 678678
Veterans and Service Members Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255, Press 1
Veterans and Service Members Text Line: Text to 838255
Disaster Distress Helpline: 1-800-985-5990 (1-800-846-8517 TTY)
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP – available 24/7 in English and Spanish
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) – online support groups at http://www.dbsalliance.org

KENTUCKY

Kentucky Department for Behavioral Health, Developmental and Intellectual Disabilities Provider Lookup: http://dbhdid.ky.gov/ProviderDirectory/ProviderDirectory.aspx
Addiction Services: https://findhelpnow.org
Seven County Services: 502-589-1100; https://sevencounties.org
Seven County Addictions: 502-583-3951
Seven Counties Adult Crisis: 502-589-4313
Seven Counties Child Crisis: 502-589-8070
UofL Health – Peace Hospital: www.uoflhealthnetwork.org/peace-hospital;
Main Line 502-451-3330; Assessment 502-451-3333

OHIO

The PEER Center Warm Line: 614-358-TALK, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Ohio Crisis Text Line: Text 4HOPE to 741741
Ohio Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services Helpline: 1-877-275-6364
Cincinnati Community Health Centers: 513-357-7320